Be Careful Of Letting People Control You In Relationships

Do Not Let Another Person Take Over Your Life

Still from the movie "Misery"

In relationships, there is a difference between concern and control. Some people's behavior veers into territory that goes beyond being concerned for the welfare of their significant other, to trying to downright control them. Considering God gave us all free will and the right to make our own decisions, no one should try to take that away, especially someone one is romantically involved with.

Beware of people who try to control where you go, what you say, what you do and who you talk to. Beware of people who are overly jealous. Be glad that your significant other is so great others think so as well. As long as the person isn't trying to break you and your significant other up, what's the harm.

Beware of those who try to isolate you from your family and or friends. That's a psychological move and that person is messing with your head to control you. It's one thing for a concerned girlfriend or boyfriend to question if it's safe for you to hang out with a friend that's a criminal (you know, something like "sweetie, you sure you wanna get into a car with your gang banger friend, I'm just saying..." - see: drive by shooting).

It's quite another thing when someone you date begins to nitpick your family and friends giving you a million reasons why you should spend less time with them, if any at all. Someone who truly cares about you will want you to have good, healthy lasting relationships with your family and friends, encouraging you to improve said familial and friendship ties. 

Keep relationships in perspective. God gave you a mind. Use it. what happens if and most likely when, you break up, because a controlling relationship where you are being completely domineered usually ends in disaster.

What about your family, friends and potential business associates, you've offended for this jealous, neurotic, controlling person. The funny thing is in many cases, family will try to warn you the person is all wrong for you, but you didn't listen. What about others you met during that time who would have been better for you, but the person told you so much garbage about them in trying to isolate and control you out of jealousy, you behaved in a funny manner that drove them away. Be careful of burning the wrong bridges, as some aren't easily rebuilt.

In life it is always best to use sound judgment and temperance. Learn to stand up for yourself and what you believe. Avoid engaging in conduct that harms others, because someone egged you on to do so, though your God given conscience warned you that you were going down the wrong path. Relationships are supposed to bring you happiness, not worry, anxiety and stress.  

Don't Let Her Bankrupt You

Relationships can be difficult. Finding the right person for you, especially when you have money, can be tricky. Some women are shameless gold diggers. They use their looks to get men they do not really have feelings for to get to their money. Women of all races have done this, rather than supporting themselves. It really isn't fair to deceive a person that you care for them, when you're after their money.

One woman I know married a man twice her age because he has money, but she's not in love with him. They are as unhappy as can be. That's not to say people with age differences can't fall in love and marry, because they do all the time and some happily make it work. Older men often have their act together in terms of knowing how to treat a woman, where as younger men are sometimes immature.

There's a guy I know whose girlfriend is using him for money. All of us can tell she is using him for his money, but for some reason he is not getting the picture. She's always asking him to buy her stuff - everything is "get me this" "can I have that" "I want this" "buy me that" or "I need this." She is slowly but surely bankrupting him, as he has racked up some serious bills trying to make the gold digger happy. And when she does bankrupt him, we his friends, will have to help him out.

But men do this as well. One of my friends has a lot of money, but you would never know it as she lives a fairly modest life. However, as my family helped her with a financial transaction, we know she has a lot of money hidden all over the place. She is very shrewd and the one boyfriend that tried to burn her in the area of money proverbially got dragged through court upside down for it. We haven't seen him since (LOL).

However, another of my friends fell in love with this guy, who was a salesman. She thought he cared about her, but he was using her. She is a very giving person with a kind heart, so to help him with his job, she used $10,000 of her life savings to buy from the company he works for, as he would get the commission for the sale. I never trusted him and begged her four times not to spend the money, telling her to save for a rainy day (especially in this economy).

He led her on and they dated. She was happy for a little while and I was happy for her, but got a bad feeling about it. She bought him an expensive mobile phone because he said his was giving trouble. One day she came to me asking about buying a computer, because I'm the tech expert in our circle of friends. I told her she didn't have to buy the high-end computer she was asking me about and I'd get her a good low priced built one that does all the same things. Then she told me it wasn't for her, it was for him and the high end computer is what he requested. Oh, I nearly lost it. I walked her right out of the computer store. I don't like it when people take advantage of my family or friends. 

Usually I'm very polite, but the one time I met him, I was giving this dude some serious "side eye" (I was staring him down like my name was Suge Knight) because I like to follow my instincts and got a bad vibe about him. Months later, she found out he is married with kids...this is after he borrowed money from her, on top of what she gave him in sales. She was devastated. People don't think when they use others it has an emotional effect, while some just don't care, only in it for themselves.

The sad part is her boyfriend before him was nicer, did thoughtful things for her, got along with everyone and anytime anything went wrong, he was always there for her. Thankfully they got back together after she gave the married male gold digger the boot.

In closing, I'm not a materialistic person, but in this world money is a factor. If you're in a relationship, it's great to be kind, generous and loving with each other. Just make sure you aren't being used and taken advantage of by someone who really doesn't care about you, only about your money. Because when your money is gone, they will be too.

Justin Bieber Lashes Out Stating He Doesn’t Trust Anyone Nor Does He Need Friends

Justin Bieber

19-year-old pop star Justin Bieber, recently did an interview with Teen Vogue, in which he lashed out at critics, rumors and people with ulterior motives. Bieber told the magazine, "I don’t need a bunch of friends to make me happy. I get good vibes from people all the time, and I probably could get along with them and be their friend, but now I just don’t trust anybody. Literally, my phone never rings. I only have, like, four people that I keep in contact with. I don’t need a bunch of friends to make me happy. I just need the people close to me that I love, that’s all. They don’t see me as Justin Bieber, but just see me as Justin."

Isolating one's self and limiting one’s personal circle to four people is not a good idea. It’s how the late Michael Jackson became a drug addicted recluse. It’s okay to have friends, but choosing the wrong ones, such as rapper Lil Twist, has brought Bieber more trouble than he bargained for.

Lil Twist, Justin Bieber and Lil Za  

Bieber’s had a rough year and is currently the subject of a criminal investigation in California, with a local sheriff in Los Angeles recommending charges be filed against him for threatening and spitting on his neighbor. Bieber reportedly snapped at his neighbor who told him he can’t drive his Ferrari up and down the street so loudly. Bieber reportedly yelled at his neighbor, "Get the f**k out of here. I'm gonna f**king kill you."

Bieber’s break up with girlfriend Selena Gomez is now being blamed for his angry, erratic behavior. However, it should be noted, Bieber is behaving like his friend Twist, who is confrontational and wild. Twist is the one egging him on and it's causing serious problems. Prior to Twist, he did not behave in this manner.
Bieber needs to ask himself what he’s getting out of his friendship with Twist. Good advice? No. Someone to keep him out of trouble? No. Someone to encourage him to go good and right in life? No. So what exactly is the purpose of that friendship.

Friendships are supposed to be built on honesty, respect, loyalty and human decency. Not someone using you for your name and what you have in your bank account. Ask yourself this, if you weren’t rich and famous, would Twist, who runs with some hardcore people, talk to you.